Dis(member)
Your hand is on my throat
and I cannot move.
Were you trying to crush
the air out of me
So I would lie still
So you could use me
Without my having to scream?
I am flat on my back
and your tongue is in my ear.
Were you trying to push
my brain out
So I would stop thinking
So you could have your fill
Without my needing to feel?
Do you know how I could
remember
my dreams
As though
they were real –
The curve of a banister rail
The lemon meringue fur of
my lola’s oldest cat
Vanilla ice cream melting
on the window sill –
But after that night
There is Nothing
But your fingers digging into me
and your dick down my throat
And I am there again
Standing outside the car
Watching you take
Everything away from me
Into blackness, I go,
And there is no one there
With Me.
May 29, 2006